Did you buy Justice League: Crisis on two earths?

23 02 2010

Bowser, a turtle missunderstood

18 02 2010

I feel that over the past few decades Bowser, formerly known as King Koopa, has received a bad rap that he doesn’t necessarily deserve. Since in the vast majority of Mario games we play as, well, Mario, we don’t always look at what’s going on from Bowser’s side.

Let’s put our controllers down for a minute and take a good look at the Koopa Kingdom. From an economic stand point he’s doing very well ruling the lands. They have so much money there is literally gold coins on the roads. He’s developed an amazing transportation system based around a pipeline and flying air powered ships. The citizens seem the love him. Everyone willingly lays down their lives for Bowser all the time. Bowser’s also a family man. In these days you have to tip your hat to a single father that’s raising as many children as he is.

Sure some people may say “But he’s always kidnapping the princess,” but how much evidence do we really have for these “kidnappings?” The woman is a princes after all. She could afford a fence and a home security system if she wanted one. I’ve never really seen her put up a fight either. Typically by the time Mario makes it to the mushroom castle the Princess is already gone. Who’s to say that her yelling for help isn’t just a trick she’s using to get a free ride home from Mario? I mean hell, they all see each other every other week at the tennis courts or playing soccer. We don’t see Bowser going on “kidnap crazy” then!

How bad can a guy riding a clown ship really be? It's even smiling!

Speaking of Mario, I think Bowser has every right to hate him. Bowser doesn’t usually go out of his way to attack Mario. More often than not Bowser is sitting in his house, drinking a grape soda, and then this punk ass in a blood red hat breaks down all of his walls! Mario’s a dinosaur riding, fire spitting, frog transforming italian who eats shrooms! That guys’ freak’n crazy! If I was Bowser I’d want him out of my life also! Mario also runs around blowing up towers with TNT that have been used to house Bowser’s children!  After dealing that that kinda shit for a few decades I’d probable go a lil crazy myself! And then what’s Mario do? He invited Bowser over to play go karts. But as soon as Koopa shows up Mario and all of his friends start throwing turtle shells at him! Turtle shells that probable once belonged to a friend of poor Bowser.

Next time you pick up a nintendo controller and decide to smash of of the bricks a hardworking turtle had to building take a minute and think, does Bowser really deserve this over a woman?

Just-one league

8 02 2010

The Justice League of America has recently undergone a line-up change. Joining the ranks of “DC’s Greatest heroes” are Cyborg, Dick Grayson, Mon El, and more. With several long time classic characters, who should have been in the league long ago, teaming up with several veteran leaguers like Hal Jordan, this line-up should be a lot of fun to read. So why isn’t everyone more excited about it? I’ll tell you why, because we’re all sick of the damn line-up changing every 24 months.

Every two or three years the Justice League, a team made up of “Earth’s Greatest Heroes” has some sort of dramatic event causing a split in the ranks. The team goes a few issues with only a handful of characters until a “Regrouping” story arc takes place, in which the League comes back stronger than ever….for about 2-3 years…..then they split up again.

But what event could cause earth’s greatest heroes to break up? Sometimes the heroes decide they need a vacation. Other times they just get their caped crouches kicked in.

So the team splits up, and then it takes a good 4-5 issues for the team to finally get back together. 4-5 issues, that’s 4-5 months with someone like Superman walking up to other super heroes and asking them “wanna join my club?” You’d think that most writers could skim this process to one, maybe two, issues. How hard is it for Wonder Woman to send out a mass text message that says “Respond if you wanna be in the new JLA 🙂 .”

And whenever the team regroups, if you aren’t Batman, Superman, Wonder woman, or a Green Lantern odds are you’ll be written out after the first year. Sometime characters realize “they aren’t league material” (I’m curious what they expected joining a group who fights demons on a weekly basis). Then some characters just stop appearing in the book with no reason given. They just stop showing up. This happened to the character Faith. She was in the Justice League and then one month she wasn’t. Now she’s somewhere in DC limbo waiting to be killed off in a background fight. Am I looking forward to this new JLA line-up? Sure am! Bout time my man Grayson was in the league fulltime. But couldn’t we just stick with one line-up a bit longer? This way we can see more of that “character development” stuff.