Ipad uses

28 01 2010

The Ipad has gotten a lot of mixed press on many scholarly news sources, such as Twitter. But I think we’re all forgetting one of the the Ipads most important uses. Finally we can complete our Star Trek costumes! Those devices we always see the red shirts pushing on before they are sent to die? Those could very well be Ipads!  So before you judge the Ipad, think about the next trek convention you plan on going to, that could make or break your purchase decision.



28 01 2010

Marvel is relaunching Avengers. Who do you want to see in the line-up?

28 01 2010

Heroes who suck at their job – The Ninja Turtles

28 01 2010

*For the purpose of the entry I am referring to the 80’s/90’s cartoon series

I'm impressed at how well Donatello can use a bo staff, since he has only two fingers and a possible thumb

Like every other American who was born in the 80’s I have a deep passion for the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. As a child I thought they were the coolest team ever, but looking back as an adult I realize that they really suck at their jobs.

Right off the bat, they’re ninjas. I’m not sure how versed you are with ninja lore so let me sum it up. Ninjas operate in stealth and often act as mercenaries. They sneak in, kill the target, and leave.

The first thing the turtles do in every fight is yell “COWABUNGA!” And incase that wasn’t enough to give away their position they make sure to jump right in front of their opponent. Hit an enemy in the back? Not acceptable according to the ninja oath they follow that was created by a New York mutated rat.

These “Ninjas” don’t do a good dressing job either. They run around entirely naked aside from the bright colored headbands they wear. Black cloths? Masks? F’ that! These turtles wanna make sure you know they’re coming as well as where they’re retreating to. But when they DO decide to be discreet they make sure to wear the finest of spy outfits….brown trench coats and hats.

Luckily these turtles make sure to keep their bodies well nourished with plenty of pizza. How ridiculous is that? Pizza’s not even good for humans, how healthy can it be for turtles? There’s not even anything in pizza that turtles are meant to eat! Cheese? No. Bread? No. I did see on the discovery channel a turtle eating from a pepperoni tree once.

The fighting abilities of these turtles aren’t every impressive either. Leonardo uses swords, but never cuts the shredder. Raphael uses si’s, which are defensive weapons, but he always charges in. Michelangelo uses nunchucks, but most of their enemies are robots and rock soldiers. Then there is Casey Jones… an ex-hockey player who uses golf clubs and tennis rackets as weapons. Yet he manages to do just as well in a fight as the mutant ninjas.  But the worst member of the karate fighting crap squad is Donatello.

Donatello is the reason the turtles are broke, living in a sewer, and unable to defeat their arch enemy. I have seen this guy build from trash; cell phones, cars, jet surf boards, and a blimp. HE’S BUILT AND HID A BLIMP UNDER NEW YORK CITY! But he can’t solve the simplest of problems. The turtles live in a sewer, he should be able to find a better place like an abandoned warehouse or something! They don’t have money? Sell some of your inventions! They can’t beat the shredder? The guys using robots as his army! Send that F’er a computer virus and be done with him! He wears blades for Pete’s sake! Hit him with a super soaker! RUSTED = DEFEATED!

I will always have a deep love for the 80’s cartoon series known as Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, but you got to admit, these guys suck at their job.

This is how the turtles got around...bet ya didn't know ninjas used bright colored vans with turrets did you. And just incase the giant shell doesn't tip off people they made sure to write "TURTLES" on the front. So if they hit & run ya you know who did it

18 01 2010

Another new Avengers

18 01 2010

This week Marvel has announced that it will be cancelling all of their Avengers books after its upcoming event “Siege.”

For me, this would be a little bit more head turning if Marvel didn’t cancel and relaunch an Avengers books every other year. Young Avengers, New Avengers, Mighty Avengers, Classic Avengers, Ultimate Comics Avengers, Marvel Age Avengers, and the list goes on and on. “Look! Marvel’s canceling Avengers!” BIG WHOOP! They’re just going to rename the damn thing “Amazing Avengers” or “Avengers Unlimited” or slap some other adjective to the title and call it a relaunched.

And is the ending of some of these books even surprising? We already know Captain America (one of’em) is going to put the American Flag up Norman Osborns’ (Siege’s antagonist) American ass! It’s a no brainer Dark Avengers will be ending. And with that one can assume several “unregistered heroes” will no longer be considered outlaws, thus changing the line-ups.

But let’s be real. When I saw line-up changes I mean it’s time to put the Marvel Movie casts upfront and center. Thor, you got a movie coming? Get out there and sell some books! Iron man, you’ve got a sequel coming out? Get out their and make some money! Sentry, do you have any films coming out? Any cartoons you’ll be featured in? No? Off to comic limbo ya go buddy.

I’d honestly prefer for Marvel to just say “we’re relaunching the titles” rather than try and make a few gullible fans believe for five minutes that a company as large as Marvel would end some of their strongest selling books.

9 01 2010